Dang it, Robin Thicke!
Why did you have to come up with such a ridiculously playable song?!?
Why did you have to lure me in with Pharrel and lock me down with a little T.I.?!?!
Your dulcet tones have been the soundtrack of my life for this whole entire summer.
That soundtrack was playing at full volume the other day as I drove home, back seat stocked with a good three-month supply of assorted groceries.
And that soundtrack was apparently just the thing to scare an entire family of desert doves out of their arroyo home and into the street, Mom Dove, Dad Dove, Baby Doves, Aunt & Uncle Doves, plus a few Grandparent Doves and all.
Right there. Out in the middle of the street. Little legs pumping furiously to the beats that emanated from my car stereo as I unwittingly bore down on this extended aviarus family.
I brake for desert doves. Under all circumstances and at all times.
So I had no other choice but to slam on the pedal and do my best to save some little feathery lives.
But someone forgot to tell that to the sacks of market fresh goodness that I had in the back seat, all of which ended up flying forward, backward, and throughout the interior of my car. A couple of errant avocados actually exited the open back window. Bruised. And badly shaken. I know because I pulled over to collect said avocados. And open a soda bottle that had apparently been shaken and stirred during the incident.
So that was me, standing on the side of the road, collecting misshapen avocados and opening cans of soda, only to have them explode in my face while I watched family Dove escape safely into the sunset. I swear at least one of them looked back, pointed, and laughed.
So, you know, I’m blaming you, Robin Thicke.
I’m blaming you and your ridiculously playable song.
I’m sending you the bill for my dry cleaning and three months’ worth of bruised avocados and flat soda. I’m adding on the fee for my dignity as I recall little Baby Dove pointing, staring, and guffawing.
Stop it with your singing. Stop it with your dancing. Stop it with your singing and dancing so that my life can return to some semblance of normalcy. TY.
Queso-Smothered Kitchen Sink Breakfast Burritos
For the burritos:
6 large eggs
1/4 c. heavy cream
2 tbsp. extra virgin olive oil
1/2 large white onion, diced
1 tbsp. garlic, minced
1/4 c. chives, chopped
1 tsp. cumin, ground
1 tsp. black pepper, freshly ground
1 c. tomatoes, finely chopped
1 large avocado, pitted, peeled, finely chopped
10 oz. chorizo, cooked
5 large (approximately 12″) burrito-sized flour tortillas
For the queso:
2 c. Monterey Jack cheese, shredded (I strongly recommend shredding your own cheese for this queso instead of purchasing it pre-shredded from your market. I know, I know… the elbow grease. But shredding your own simply yields a significantly better, more even and creamy result here.)
1 1/2 c. sharp cheddar cheese, shredded
1 c. whipped cream cheese
1/2 c. heavy cream (whole milk may be substituted)
2 Hatch chiles, roasted, stemmed, peeled, diced (Any green chiles may be substituted here, although I really enjoy the unique flavor of Hatches in this queso. Note that I also opted to retain the seeds and membranes, but you may remove both of you prefer less heat.)
10 stems cilantro, chopped
1/2 tsp. white pepper, ground
Chef’s Note: This recipe for queso yields a thick finished product, which is no problem when you are simply slathering it over breakfast burritos. If you are choosing instead to serve it with chips, I would recommend increasing the amount of heavy cream that you incorporate from one half cup to one whole cup. Additional cream will simply prevent the unpleasantness that is broken tortilla chips stuck in your dip.
To prepare the burritos, whisk the eggs and heavy cream together in a large bowl. Heat the oil in a large, heavy-bottomed skillet over a medium flame, add the onion, and sauté until golden, tender and fragrant, approximately 10 minutes. Add the garlic and sauté for two minutes more. Stir in the egg mixture, chives, cumin, and black pepper, continuing to cook and stirring in a circular motion with a wooden spoon until eggs begin to set. Continue to cool until eggs are solid but fluffy and cooked through. Remove to a large bowl.
Stir tomatoes, avocado and chorizo into egg mixture and warm your tortillas in a dry skillet or comal. Once tortillas are warmed and you are ready to assemble your burritos, place approximately one cup of the filling mixture in the center of a tortilla. Fold the bottom of the tortilla (the edge closest to you) up and over the filling, then fold each side in and over the bottom. Tightly tuck and roll the burrito away from you to finish. Repeat with remaining tortillas and filling mixture. Note that because you are going to top these burritos generously with hot queso, I recommend lining them up in an even layer inside a 9″ x 13″ baking dish.
Meanwhile, to prepare the queso, melt the Monterey Jack cheese, cheddar cheese, and cream cheese together with the heavy cream in a small saucepan, stirring frequently. Once the cheese mixture is uniformly melted together, stir in the chiles, cilantro, and white pepper. Remove queso from heat, pour over top of assembled burritos, and serve immediately.
YIELD: 5 large burritos and approximately 3 1/2 cups of queso